... This is the story of a fight that broke out recently as told by the spectator VercigenariX as he was harmlessly passing through the neighborhood. In this story, we will assume he is speaking with his lifelong friend known to some as his left hand "THE Slowhand". The story will be told in mostly conversation mode for minimum strain on the eyes.
THE Slowhand: *Notices that VX has a black eye* Peeping again I see ? You know thats illegal, right ? Don't make me take you to the dungeon again boy.
VercigenariX:*Looks at his left hand* I never understood why I put a mouth on this thing..... Anyhow no, thats not what happened!
THE Slowhand: Then explain to me just how you got that black eye that didn't involve you looking at something you shouldn't, or saying something you shouldn't.
VercigenariX: Well on my way innocently walking home in an innocent way, in which I had no bad intent, I witnessed a fight between that wicca chick and some weird dude with a jacked up face and a red right eye.
THE Slowhand:.... Ummm thats Hazanko. Oh my god is she ok ?
VercigenariX: Is she ok? Are you kidding me? Let me tell you what happened
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LadyOfWicca: *Secluded in her backyard, she is practicing a variation of Gnostic Mass by herself. As she laid down in her backyard quietly, she began to hear a small sound coming from behind a small bush at the opposite end of the backyard*
Hazanko: *whisper* Pagawa Samfa Pagawa Samfa
LadyOfWicca: *Jumps up to her feet and speaks in her normal very dramatic tone* Who daaaare defiles the serenity of my courtyard!
Hazanko: Chillax baby girl, I be Lord Hazanko, reppin the Kei Pirates
LadyOfWicca: You villain! You dare to trample upon the foliage that I, Lady Of Wicca, have worked so hard to maintain. You are a disgusting waste of life, be gone from my site you common insect!
Hazanko: Lady u betta step offa me before i lay some tao magic on yo naked @**
LadyOfWicca: One such as yourself knows not of the true purpose of magic. Your attempts at using magic are reminiscent of a child attempting to understand gaussian curvature and other such maths as performed in most standard practiced differential geometry. Ha ha haaaah.
Hazanko: Awww ...err... what ?
LadyOfWicca: I have no recollection of stuttering during my initial retort to your slang ridden excuse for a response. Do you not understand English ?
Hazanko: What?
LadyOfWicca: What country are you from ?
Hazanko: What?
LadyOfWicca: This country of 'What' is not a country of which I am acquainted. Tell me this, do they happen to speak any form of English in what ? I see, perhaps you will need a lesson. Allow me to demonstrate both the proper use of the English language and the use of magic within the same breath. *puts one hand behind her back and begins to do a hand sign*
Hazanko: ... man f*** dis sh**, pagawa god damn samm..... WHAT THE HELL!
LadyOfWicca: *Pulls out a Snub Nose Revolver and begins unloading on Hazanko* "Magic Bullet".
VercigenariX: *Peeping through a hole in the fence* .... that wasn't magic.
**A few seconds later a fist that looks very similar to LadyOfWiccas fist has seemed to make some sort of contact with VX's eye, along with making the hole in the fence bigger**
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VercigenariX: So thats how it happened, I did nothing wrong!
THE Slowhand: So wait, this was her backyard. How come they didn't see you, and why the hell was Hazanko in her backyard to begin with.
VercigenariX: *starts whistling the theme to Robotech* Oh what ? I dont know, thats still a mystery. Welp gotta go, see ya around!
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PROLOGUE:
VercigenariX: *After seeing Hazankos ship pass through the area* Hey Gloria, I'll pay you $5 to spray paint the words "Galactic Layline" all over the front of LadyOfWicca's house!
Gloria: OKAY! But ummm... Mr Verci sir, why are you looking at that hole ?
VercigenariX: Im.. uhh... watching an episode of Negotiator Yugo in low def, its boring psychological crap, you wont like it.
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Credits:
Lord Hazanko is owned by whoever made outlaw star.
LadyOfWicca is owned by mother nature.
THE Slowhand, and Gloria are both simply owned.
P.S.
- I loved that Yugo anime, it deserves 100 more episodes.
